Why are you sad right now?

bostjan

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I'm wondering how anyone can make ends meet right now. I have a good education (graduate degree), no student loans, I feel like I've worked really hard and continue to work hard, I have a good steady job, and I run several side-hustles that bring in a little extra money. I feel like I've lived a pretty modest lifestyle as an adult. I have only a couple of really nice things - that one guitar I have and my amp. Everything else I own is modest by USA standards: my PC is old and I got it 2nd hand, my house was only as much house as I needed at the time I bought it, my car is super modest, my bicycle is one of those entry-level ones, I still use a flip phone. Pretty much everything else that I have that sounds cool to have I've built myself.

But my stupid idea of buying a 2nd hand EV might have totally put my finances in the toilet. The damned thing keeps breaking and I certainly can't figure out how to fix it. The mechanic at the dealer whence I bought it obviously can't figure it out, either - at least I assume, because the only other option is that they're milking me at this point. I spent the last three days calling around, and every shop either says that they can't fix an EV, or that it'll be 30+ days before they'll even get to pop the hood open. The guy I spent the most time talking to - he said he knows a lot about EV's, but the second time I corrected him that I don't have a Prius, I lost faith in the guy.

Looking at car prices now, I sure as hell can't afford a new car. If I buy another used one - well, the last two used cars I've owned cost me more in constant repairs than it would have cost me to get a new car - plus, at least around here, they're almost as much as new cars anyway. I live in the middle of nowhere. We're lucky enough to have a bus, but, the latest it'd drop me off at work is >2 hours before I start and the latest it'd pick me up from work would be 3 hours before I'm done. It's only like a 7-8 minute drive, so I tried walking, and it's actually great when the weather's nice, for the first day. I tried thinking I could catch the bus in and walk home, but then I didn't see the damned bus come by, so I ended up walking anyway. By the third day, my legs are killing me, because there are too many hills. I'm getting too old. I also don't love the idea of spending all of my free time M-F commuting.

Right now my stupid car is back at the dealer. I have no idea if they'll even bother looking at it any more. They won't even tell me at this point. I paid $80 to have it towed there based on a pretty stupid misunderstanding. At least that's a relatively great deal on towing, if you ignore the fact that it was towed there for no actual reason. :shrug:

All that time I was so happy not to be stuck working at home because my job is "essential," but now it's potentially just a matter of time before I'm stuck working from home because I'll be too poor to have my own transportation and too stupid not to move to a place where winters are -40° and steep hills covered in ice.

I think I'm just boned now.
 

thebeesknees22

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I'm wondering how anyone can make ends meet right now. I have a good education (graduate degree), no student loans, I feel like I've worked really hard and continue to work hard, I have a good steady job, and I run several side-hustles that bring in a little extra money. I feel like I've lived a pretty modest lifestyle as an adult. I have only a couple of really nice things - that one guitar I have and my amp. Everything else I own is modest by USA standards: my PC is old and I got it 2nd hand, my house was only as much house as I needed at the time I bought it, my car is super modest, my bicycle is one of those entry-level ones, I still use a flip phone. Pretty much everything else that I have that sounds cool to have I've built myself.

But my stupid idea of buying a 2nd hand EV might have totally put my finances in the toilet. The damned thing keeps breaking and I certainly can't figure out how to fix it. The mechanic at the dealer whence I bought it obviously can't figure it out, either - at least I assume, because the only other option is that they're milking me at this point. I spent the last three days calling around, and every shop either says that they can't fix an EV, or that it'll be 30+ days before they'll even get to pop the hood open. The guy I spent the most time talking to - he said he knows a lot about EV's, but the second time I corrected him that I don't have a Prius, I lost faith in the guy.

Looking at car prices now, I sure as hell can't afford a new car. If I buy another used one - well, the last two used cars I've owned cost me more in constant repairs than it would have cost me to get a new car - plus, at least around here, they're almost as much as new cars anyway. I live in the middle of nowhere. We're lucky enough to have a bus, but, the latest it'd drop me off at work is >2 hours before I start and the latest it'd pick me up from work would be 3 hours before I'm done. It's only like a 7-8 minute drive, so I tried walking, and it's actually great when the weather's nice, for the first day. I tried thinking I could catch the bus in and walk home, but then I didn't see the damned bus come by, so I ended up walking anyway. By the third day, my legs are killing me, because there are too many hills. I'm getting too old. I also don't love the idea of spending all of my free time M-F commuting.

Right now my stupid car is back at the dealer. I have no idea if they'll even bother looking at it any more. They won't even tell me at this point. I paid $80 to have it towed there based on a pretty stupid misunderstanding. At least that's a relatively great deal on towing, if you ignore the fact that it was towed there for no actual reason. :shrug:

All that time I was so happy not to be stuck working at home because my job is "essential," but now it's potentially just a matter of time before I'm stuck working from home because I'll be too poor to have my own transportation and too stupid not to move to a place where winters are -40° and steep hills covered in ice.

I think I'm just boned now.

I've been wondering that about Canada for quite a few years now. The cost of living is bananas, and has been for quite a while here. It seems like the US is heading the same way, and it's just 2-4 years behind where we're at currently depending on the area.
 

TedEH

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The whole cost-of-living thing has been a lot of why I feel the need to stir up shit at work. Things aren't going to improve, and if I've hit a ceiling in my career, as much as I'm relatively doing well now, it won't be long before I'm boned too. It would feel foolish to not pursue the best I can get, for all kinds of reasons. I'm almost wondering if this signals the time I start applying to all the "dream jobs", places I figured maybe I could try for someday.

I still use a flip phone
I know it probably wasn't supposed to, but for some reason this detail drove home, or well punctuated, the rest of your story.
 

wheresthefbomb

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My heart goes out to all of you struggling with the cost of living right now.

I bought a fairly new 2019 car last year, I wouldn't say I regret it because it enables me to go to work, but making payments on this thing is really breaking the bank. On top of this, I still haven't recovered from the financial hole an injury combined with some less-than-stellar depressed decision making caused around new year's. My landlords are super cool about my whole situation, but it feels like I'm not even struggling to stay afloat anymore, feels like I'm just sinking really slowly. I have zero intention of getting this car repossessed, I'm paying the fucking thing off if it kills me, but there's room for little else in my life right now and it really weighs on me to think about 5.5 more years of this.
 

CanserDYI

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My heart goes out to all of you struggling with the cost of living right now.

I bought a fairly new 2019 car last year, I wouldn't say I regret it because it enables me to go to work, but making payments on this thing is really breaking the bank. On top of this, I still haven't recovered from the financial hole an injury combined with some less-than-stellar depressed decision making caused around new year's. My landlords are super cool about my whole situation, but it feels like I'm not even struggling to stay afloat anymore, feels like I'm just sinking really slowly. I have zero intention of getting this car repossessed, I'm paying the fucking thing off if it kills me, but there's room for little else in my life right now and it really weighs on me to think about 5.5 more years of this.
Tell me you bought the gap insurance? I had gap save the day twice on shitty loans and being smacked by drunks.
 

spudmunkey

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My old boss reached out to me, from the company I was let go in January of 2021. She said they were looking for someone to...basically do my old job, and she said, "And of course it make me think of you"...but she just meant "as a friend" and not "for the position." That reeeeeeally got my hopes up, and once reality set in...NGL, it fucked me up quite a bit.
 
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wheresthefbomb

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I'm 99.99999% sure my marriage of twenty-two years ended this weekend. I got an ultimatum I couldn't comply with. I'm so tired and broken at this point, I can't even really be mad anymore. Just drained and sad.

Thanks. It's been a long time coming, I guess.

Funny thing. My grandpa once told me men after his generation in our family aren't capable of making it twenty-five years in marriage. It seems it's rung true for all of us thus far. Thanks, gramps.

My condolences, man. I've been through two divorces now, one from a really long relationship (though not quite 22 years). They were both also a long time coming. It's been my experience that ultimatums are generally the deathknell of relationships. When one person feels they need to communicate in that way, trust is likely irreparably broken long hence.

Soon you'll get to enjoy the relief of not having the impeding doom of everything you've obviously been dealing with. I know that was a big relief for me, though bittersweet to let go of things I had clung to so tightly. I still wake up angry, rehashing arguments with my second ex-wife sometimes, though it's slowly fading.
 

nightflameauto

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My condolences, man. I've been through two divorces now, one from a really long relationship (though not quite 22 years). They were both also a long time coming. It's been my experience that ultimatums are generally the deathknell of relationships. When one person feels they need to communicate in that way, trust is likely irreparably broken long hence.

Soon you'll get to enjoy the relief of not having the impeding doom of everything you've obviously been dealing with. I know that was a big relief for me, though bittersweet to let go of things I had clung to so tightly. I still wake up angry, rehashing arguments with my second ex-wife sometimes, though it's slowly fading.
Yeah, I consider it both a good and a bad sign that I already feel a slight sense of relief, just knowing that I've started the process of extricating myself from her. It fucking sucks, 'cause I do love her, but there have been so many false accusations thrown my way at this point, and now intricate analysis, nightly mind you, of every moment we've shared and telling me how I was cruel even in the early days, when she never said a word about it until the last few months.

It sucks, but I can feel the toxicity eating me from the inside.
 

High Plains Drifter

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@nightflameauto Just wanted to offer my empathy and my support. How ever all of this plays out, just know that a relationship as far as what you've described here... toxic, resentful, and without trust is absolutely one that we all deserve and need to distance ourselves from. I'm sure you know that any negative thoughts and feelings that you're experiencing now will heal up and progressively get further and further behind you as time progresses. Please don't ignore acquiring the therapeutic and supportive tools for your mental and emotional well-being. Much support to you as you move forward.
 

nightflameauto

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Well, I guess I just as well document it here,
The wife and I had a "talk." I know we've had some chemical abuse issues that have led us down some really dark paths. I've been trying to pull out of it for a long time now, but keep getting sucked back into it due to her insistence that it's the only way she can sleep.

We've made some promises to each other and we're going to see if we can start to heal together. We've both left the option that we split laying there in front of us for the moment. There was some minor sign of compromise from her, which I haven't heard or seen in years, so maybe a night separated sunk in that things aren't just entirely my fault.

I guess we'll see. While I don't feel great, I feel like, at the very least, there's hope. We'll see if that hope lasts. Some part of me wonders if I'm deluding myself, but I hate to drop twenty some years of good over what feels like just a few things blown up due to chemical abuse.
 

TedEH

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I guess it feels pretty minor in the grand scheme, but had a sad moment yesterday:
I finished something I was reading and went to re-arrange some things on a book shelf to put the book away, 'cause I tend not to give anything a place on the shelf until I've finished it. Found a book I had borrowed from someone at work and never returned. It's too late to return it now, since the owner of the book passed away within the last year.
 

AwakenTheSkies

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Wow I've been having terrible luck with 8 string packs lately 😲 First I bought 2 DR sets where the string wouldn't fit in the tuner. This had never ever happened to me even with thicker strings, as usually they leave the beginning of the string unwound so you can fit it through. So I unwound it manually and of course that killed the string. Then I ordered 2 Ibanez sets and the first one I open has a defective 8th string. The string wasn't fully wound until like the 4th fret. So I had to open my 2nd set and get the 8th string from that one. Pretty much wasting sets of strings. 😨😞
 

wheresthefbomb

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My kitty cat is very sick, he is at the vet over the weekend with acute kidney disease. He might not make it at all, and either way I'm looking at up to $2000 in vet bills and very likely a reduced life expectancy for my beautiful baby boy. Though at this point I won't look a gift 3-5 years in the mouth when I am staring down the possibility that he could be euthanized by Monday.

I have some good support, his mom/my ex is pitching in, some family members and friends are pitching in too, I'm selling my 4x12 to a buddy, and I'm throwing all of the gear I can possibly sell on craigslist. I'm still really worried, and it's making me really sad. Got really stoned and cried a bunch earlier, planning on getting really stoned and crying more later also.

Please keep my beautiful baby boy in your thoughts.

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BlackMastodon

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My kitty cat is very sick, he is at the vet over the weekend with acute kidney disease. He might not make it at all, and either way I'm looking at up to $2000 in vet bills and very likely a reduced life expectancy for my beautiful baby boy. Though at this point I won't look a gift 3-5 years in the mouth when I am staring down the possibility that he could be euthanized by Monday.

I have some good support, his mom/my ex is pitching in, some family members and friends are pitching in too, I'm selling my 4x12 to a buddy, and I'm throwing all of the gear I can possibly sell on craigslist. I'm still really worried, and it's making me really sad. Got really stoned and cried a bunch earlier, planning on getting really stoned and crying more later also.

Please keep my beautiful baby boy in your thoughts.

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So sorry to hear! I hope your little guy pulls through and you 2 get to spend many more years together.
 

Metropolis

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One of my friends have gone non-existent in the internet, deleted her social medias and deleted almost all search result data according to GDPR. I wonder if she's having a job where it's required to be somewhat anonymous, or something way worse. I had her phone number in some old phone, but... I don't even care about to do anymore secret agent's work. The thing is I don't like or care wast majority of the people in general, but she wasn't one of those for me.
 


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