Terrible Pun Thread

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by bostjan, Sep 8, 2017.

  1. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    So much talk on this forum about vegetarianism lately.
    I think it's a huge missed steak.
     
  2. takotakumi

    takotakumi SS.org Regular

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  3. TimSE

    TimSE Contributor

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    ^ that was fantachetic...
     
  4. inaudio

    inaudio Hack Fraud

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    I moustache you guys a question but I'm shaving it for later.
     
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  5. Science_Penguin

    Science_Penguin SS.org Regular

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    A set of jumper cables walked into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "Alright, alright, I'll serve ya. Just don't start anything!"
     
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  6. bostjan

    bostjan MicroMetal Contributor

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    A group of guys beat up a rope, tie him in a knot, and then stomp all over him, until he's in tatters, then leave him on the ground, injured. Another man walks by and shudders, "Whoah! Have you had a look at yourself?" And the rope says "I'm afraid not" (a frayed knot).
     
  7. Arkhanum

    Arkhanum SS.org Regular

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  8. marcwormjim

    marcwormjim SS.org Regular

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    I liked the above post because a Chilean guy read this story somewhere, imagined the girls scissoring, remembered that people get stoned to death in the Middle East, tenuously conceptualized a rock-paper-scissors analogy in English, then decided sevenstring.org was the place to share the fruits of that journey.
     
  9. Arkhanum

    Arkhanum SS.org Regular

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    Wasn´t that hard actually lol It was bad though hahaha
     
  10. Science_Penguin

    Science_Penguin SS.org Regular

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    Two antennae met on a rooftop, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much... but the reception was amazing!
     
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  11. vansinn

    vansinn ShredNeck into Beck

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    I'm an IT guy. Women loves IT guys.
    Especially when we talk about mounting hard drives.
     
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  12. vansinn

    vansinn ShredNeck into Beck

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    Dad and Tate went out fishing.
    Dad came home, but without Tate.
    Mom asked, "where's Tate".
    Dad said, "Tate? Oh, I had no bait"
     
  13. Science_Penguin

    Science_Penguin SS.org Regular

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    Dad used to be real good with bait. He used to practise all the time back in his youth, cause he wanted to be a master baiter. But then he met Mom, and there was no need to master bait.
     
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  14. Edika

    Edika SS.org Regular

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    A neutron walks into a bar and asks for a drink. He asks "How much for the drink" and the barman replies "For you? No charge."
     
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  15. BrailleDecibel

    BrailleDecibel K-U-N-fusion!

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    A horse walks into a bar and asks for a drink..."Why the long face?" asked the bartender, to which the horse replied "I was born with it!"



    ...I'll show myself out. :lol:
     
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  16. jaxadam

    jaxadam SS.org Regular

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    Two atoms were walking down the street when one fell. The atom that fell said “I think I just lost an electron.” The other atom said “You sure?” and the first replied “I’m positive.”

    How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for the fresh prints.

    My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
     
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  17. Ebony

    Ebony "The Sugarcoater"

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    I hear there was an election in America recently. Apparently, one bad candidate trumped another.
     
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  18. vansinn

    vansinn ShredNeck into Beck

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    Enter bar
    Telnet barmaid
    Signal connection
    Connection closed
    Flush stack >/dev/null
    Enter sleep mode
    Terminate, stay resident
     
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  19. vansinn

    vansinn ShredNeck into Beck

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    Medicine has the most obnoxious names, so I invented a drug on my own.
    Here's the advertising phrases (sound of soft female words):

    Retardon - for you, who want to gear down
    Retardon - when you really want to step out..
     
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  20. inaudio

    inaudio Hack Fraud

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    This isn't exactly a pun but it cracked me up. One of my gal-pal's kittens was on the litter box when another kitten scared him so that he ran off and pooped on the floor. Poor little guy literally had the crap scared out of him.
     

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