SS Love and Relationships Thread

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by SevenStringSam, Jun 17, 2010.

  1. bostjan

    bostjan MicroMetal Contributor

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    The key is to act naturally and confidently. It's easier if you have a situation already figured out, but things rarely ever work to plan, so be flexible.

    I went through a rather long "phase" where I was super up-front, like, I'd come out of the blue with "Hey, I like you, want to go out tomorrow night?" and that never worked, because it was so unnatural. Part of it depends on her, as well. Like, sense of humour, sense of adventure, and most of all, if she's single and unaccounted. So, knowing nothing about her, your chances of hitting it off are pretty slim, honestly. Getting to know her without being creepy is also a challenge. If you approach her with a platonic interest and a halfway decent ice-breaker, then you might be able to get to know her a little better, at least.
     
  2. ftr

    ftr SS.org Regular

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    Yeah, it's also a little more difficult because it's a paint store and not like a grocery store or something where I would frequent regularly. So, going in there all the time might seem weird. The feeling I am stalking her or being creepy or something would increase pretty quick. Then again, that's probably my mind over thinking things. I was actually thinking of using a line that like to just keep things simple and if it doesn't go well then just move on. At least I will have tried.
     
  3. bostjan

    bostjan MicroMetal Contributor

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    Might be time to paint your guitars a new colour. :lol:
     
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  4. ftr

    ftr SS.org Regular

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    Last edited: May 12, 2018
  5. ftr

    ftr SS.org Regular

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    Last edited: May 12, 2018
  6. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I haven't been in this thread in a while.... but I've found myself in a strange (for me) situation. I went on a date... and it went well. :lol: This isn't a thing that happens, so my brain is having trouble processing this. All of the mixed feelings. I got too used to being single that part of my brain panics at the idea of shaking things up too much or too quickly.
     
  7. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    I dunno if anyone cares too much, but I have few outlets for my thoughts on this, sooo I'm dumping it here I guess. :lol:

    After having some time to think about the events of my previous post, and even going on another arguably good/successful date, I've sort of come to a weird conclusion that I'm very comfortable in my single-ness, and I think it would take a lot to shake me from that now. I've scared off a date or two by being a bit too up front about the idea, but I've realized that I've got very little interest in changing my lifestyle for anyone anymore. I know what I like, I know how I want my life to go, I've established certain patterns and lifestyle choices that work really well for me, and I don't want to compromise those things because I've found a pattern that leaves me relatively happy day to day. I don't want to risk that on anyone that's just an "ok" partner for me. I'd rather be happily single than in an "ok" relationship. I would have to be convinced that I've encountered someone who would bring enough to my life to beat my already-pretty-good single life. And I think that's a tough ask. A partner like that effectively becomes your best friend. If she's not someone I would enthusiastically call my best friend, then.... I'm just not interested. I've got too much life to do.

    I mean, I'm willing to take the time to get to know a person. I'm not so far up my own *ss that I expect someone to just jump into some role I've predefined for them. And I actually really enjoy just going on random dates, even the ones that don't work out at all. I've had people tell me that a failed date, or a short relationship feels like "wasted time", but I don't feel that way at all. I've met people, gone for coffee, had some decent conversation, then got ghosted afterwards, but still don't see that as a waste of time. I enjoy the company, I enjoyed the talk, I got to go out and be social on a nice day. The overall experience is a win, and I've lost nothing.

    I guess I'm not going anywhere with this. Just rambling. Couldn't think of a place to dump some thoughts, so here they are.
     
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  8. groverj3

    groverj3 Biologist/Guitarist

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    After almost a year of only a handful of weekend-long visits I just picked up my girlfriend from the airport yesterday for a ~3 week visit here. This is since she moved to Oregon last August.

    We've had our ups and downs throughout the year. We've taken a small break once, and decided to give it a try again. We've had disagreements about how often to visit is reasonable, as we're both grad students on strict budgets. However, we keep making it work.

    Hopefully this visit goes well. I kind of feel like we're at a critical point. We're both 28, and don't want to waste our time with something that doesn't have the potential to work out long-term, but also would have to do long distance for at least another 2 years until I finish my PhD here. Then I'd have to be able to move up there, which isn't a guarantee.
     

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