SS Love and Relationships Thread

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by SevenStringSam, Jun 17, 2010.

  1. Alberto7

    Alberto7 ΩGJ :3

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    I've been away from this thread for a while. I needed a break from the whole dating game and just take my life at my own pace... as little sense as that may seem to make.

    However, I come back with good news (for me anyway. :lol:). Finally found someone that I think is a reasonable human being, and I think things will be good. We've known each other for about 2 and a half years, and we were always good buddies from day one. We went on a trip together last October, and that's when I got to really know her well. It wasn't until about 4-5 months ago that we began getting a lot closer. The last two months or so we've pretty much texted continuously every day, and the last 3 weeks we've seen each other practically every day. We're super comfortable around each other and it's easy for us to be ourselves in each other's presence. Finally decided to just ask her out last week, which honestly felt like a mere formality on some level. We've only been dating for a little bit, but honestly the only thing that's really changed is the physical contact. :lol: It seems like it's still early to tell, but I think this could be good.
     
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  2. Alberto7

    Alberto7 ΩGJ :3

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    I've been away from this thread for a while. I needed a break from the whole dating game and just take my life at my own pace... as little sense as that may seem to make.

    However, I come back with good news (for me anyway. :lol:). Finally found someone that I think is a reasonable human being, and I think things will be good. We've known each other for about 2 and a half years, and we were always good buddies from day one. We went on a trip together last October, and that's when I got to really know her well. It wasn't until about 4-5 months ago that we began getting a lot closer. The last two months or so we've pretty much texted continuously every day, and the last 3 weeks we've seen each other practically every day. We're super comfortable around each other and it's easy for us to be ourselves in each other's presence. Finally decided to just ask her out last week, which honestly felt like a mere formality on some level. We've only been dating for a little bit, but honestly the only thing that's really changed is the physical contact. :lol: It seems like it's still early to tell, but I think this could be good.
     
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  3. Eden

    Eden SS.org Regular

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    Kinda new to this thread, but I'm starting back at school and with work its hard to have time to vent about some things. Someone I work with is getting ready to move back halfway across the country for school and I really think that I've developed some strong feelings for her, I can't tell if the feeling is mutual but she just has an effect on things that takes the edge out of life and legitimately makes me feel like a schoolboy again when we're joking around and talking to each other. I kinda want ask her for her # just to keep in touch even if we wouldn't hit it off in a relationship manner but I don't know, sso.
     
  4. Simic

    Simic SS.org Regular

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    Hey guys, I have a question;

    So I've been single for like half a year now and for 5 months I've been texting and seeing this girl who also goes to my faculty (1 year below me) and we've agreed to the friends with benefits thing and we agreed on the following: sex, cuddling and also like helping each other better understand what the opposite sex wants, help each other text other ppl to hook up etc. And also made it clear to each other that we will never be in a relationship because we're just not right for each other.

    So we haven't seen each other for 2 months during the summer because we were both traveling. We're seeing each other again for like a week now but I'm leaving to study abroad in October so our relationship is coming to a pause I guess.
    Like we're super honest with each other and I told her about the girls I've had sex with during the summer, showed her pics of them (she asked) and I'm still texting with 2 of them and she like helps me text and stuff. I even told her about another friend with benefits I have now and they know each other (same faculty) and it she was okay with all of it.
    She didn't really have sex with anyone else since we started, just made out with some guys a few times. But now she needs a replacement for me (as funny as this sounds) and she asked me to help choose a good guy out of the ones that were texting her and I texted with some of them, took out the fools and today she called me that she just got home from a date and it went awesome and that she's pretty certain this guy will be my replacement.

    I thought I'd be happy when I heard this but to be completely honest with you, SSO, I was jealous :shrug: And the funny thing is I would never consider this girl as a future partner because there are some dealbreakers (for me) on her - for instance she can't listen any harder rock/metal music and is a hater of those genres. But the sex is the best I've had in my life and she's really fun to hang out with, go out for drinks, lunch etc. And she also really likes me and all her friends do as well. She is gonna visit me abroad and I'll probably come home a few times during the year as well so it's not like I won't ever have sex with her again but it's definitely pretty much over between the two of us until I get back, if she's still single by then.

    So is what I'm feeling right now normal? Like I'm jealous of her getting someone to replace me even though I will do the exact same? And how does it all make sense if I don't even want her as my girlfriend (and vice versa)? Is it just me being selfish because I'll have to give my toy to someone else? (I'm sorry if that sounds sexist, it's not meant that way).
     
  5. Spaced Out Ace

    Spaced Out Ace 0 0 1 0 0 6 5 0 3\

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    Sometimes thou doth protest too much. Most people in relationships don't share music in common.
     
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  6. Obsidian Soul

    Obsidian Soul SS.org Regular

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    Have you noticed that everybody,from what I can remember,on here that HAD a gf that liked the same music as them(metal/djent/insert nonpopular music) have become ex-girlfriends?Music interests aren't make or break.

    Also,from what you are saying,it seems that not all is as it seems.She wants to know about the chicks you talk to and she hasn't fooled around(that we know of)even though she's been completely free to do so.If she's still single by the time you get back,talk to her about it.In the meantime,ponder on your relationship with this girl and reevaluate where you want her in your life.
     
  7. cult

    cult SS.org Regular

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    So much this.
    My ex used to like singer/songwriter stuff and I got her to listen to the Deftones and similar bands, but that was about it.
    My fiancée tolerates my now really diverse taste in music as long as I don't bother her with it too often or turn it up too loud for her to enjoy other stuff in the house.

    All other stuff aside:
    If you get along great, like being with each other and enjoy the sex, go for it.
     
  8. bostjan

    bostjan MicroMetal Contributor

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    Ne vreči puške v koruzo (Ne prenagljeno ravnati).

    In English, we say, "do not empty the baby out with the bath."

    Does she not tolerate you listening to your music, or does she just not like the music you like?
     
  9. p0ke

    p0ke 7-string guitard

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    This. My wife listens to rnb and reggae etc. and basically can't stand metal, but we got married anyway. We just don't usually listen to music when we're at home together, and I don't see that as a problem. In the car we just listen to the radio and pretty much both hate what's playing equally :lol: It's just something I have to live with, but I don't mind - I get to listen to metal all day at work anyway, and at home I have a separate man cave where I play the guitar (which she loves hearing even though she doesn't like the music I'm playing).
     
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  10. Simic

    Simic SS.org Regular

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    Thanks for the suggestions dudes, after reading your replies we had a talk and we came to a conclusion that we really like each other and that this relationship has evolved past just friends. But seeing as I'm going on an exchange for a year and after I get back she's going on an exchange for a year which means we won't see each other for 2 years (except when visiting) we agreed we will wait until then to see how our lives have evolved and then maybe go for it. But just having that talk has made me feel much better, I truly thank all the ppl replying because otherwise I wouldn't bring up this topic and wouldn't have had the talk :)

    edit: And bostjan thanks for the Slovenian proverb haha, do you have Slovenian roots? Your name sure implies it :)
     
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  11. Space_Shift

    Space_Shift SS.org Regular

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    Hello to all, i hope everyone are having a great day :)

    So, first post here (i already had an account here but i didnt remember the password and i deleted the email that i used with it).
    Sorry for the long post first of all, but i really really need some help with this situation.
    So after 10 months of relationship my girlfriend broke up with me 1 week ago. It has been the worst week in my life tbh. At the same time i'm angry that it happened and also very sad.

    So here's the story, during the relationship we had wonderful moments that i appreciate a lot but also problems.

    Some of the problems were that i said stupid things to her that made her sad, i completely regret saying those things i didn't think before talking :(. A big problem we had was that in that time i had in my contact list in FB some girls from my high school and from my first job, i never talked to all of them or considered myself to talk to a lot of girls. So she saw that on a comment from my birthday that some girl from my high school put in the message a simple heart emoji and she understood that it was before we started in a relationship. I told to her all the things i was going through in high school and told her the other girls that i liked when i was in high school and before that but nothing happened.

    I dont remember when and why but she told me that i needed to delete all the girls i had in facebook the reason was that why i had them there if i didn't talked to her, that if we broke up i will start talking to another girl. After some discussions i did it, i deleted those contacts from my facebook just to avoid more problems.

    So i felt like she was some what insecure in some aspects, reason of the girls in facebook is because before me from what she told me her first ex was an asshole and that he worried more about some female friend instead of her. She eventually broke up with him and then started a relationship with another guy, she told me at first he was really nice person but then he was controlling everything she does even she went out of high school because she was depressed and because of the guy.

    After that i tried to be different from her other exes but i was doing mistake by mistake. Not thinking before talking, she told me that i was acting weird or even she told me if i really liked her not only in the feeling but in a physical way. She said that i was a selfish person because i only though on me, all because she wanted to try sex without condom and get birth control pills instead, and i told her i wasnt feeling confortable with that, that i preferred with condom (tbh i didn't have enough knowledge about the pills in that moment) so told me that i didn't had enough confidence and i needed to quit that fear of doing new things.

    On a day before we broke up, she told me that i wasn't being a "man" because i wasn't doing some things like putting initiative in the relationship or being more courageous (i think is the correct word?) in that aspect.

    The reason we broke up was she told me that i lied to her, because of all the problems we had about the contacts in Facebook, i added a girl from my class that also went with me in high school, though that i wanted something with her (she already has a boyfriend, wtf seriously). I added her because she wanted to give me back a pencil and saw that i deleted her and my friend told me that. Also i decided that because why i cant add a friend just and just for school related meanwhile other guys give like to her pictures? So the reason was because i lied that wouldn't add anyone of the contacts and she was very upset and angry with me, that what i did was very low.

    So that was the reason, i'm very upset and angry of all the errors i did during the relationship, she was my first girlfriend and i lost her :( she eventually deleted me from Facebook and also her brother, that made me more sad because i hoped we could be friends in some point. Sorry for the long post but i needed to take out all of this from my mind. I still think she is a wonderful person and even thought that i will never know any other girl like her :( (it might sound a like a cliche). My sister even blocked her and i feel that may put things a little bad, well idk maybe i'm getting worried a lot with the situation.

    I still have feelings for her, i would like to get back to her and get things better but in some way i feel like if we get back some things may be the same. Also i feel i'm not ready for a full relationship like moving on with her for example, i'm in 5th semester on university (i'm 22) and i would like to finish school first so i can be full time in a relationship but as she told me if i truly love her i would even move with her regarding of the grade i'm in school but idk maybe is insecurity or maybe i think a lot of everything, am i selfish for thinking that or i should have been more courageous regarding that on moving with her when she told me? :s

    I really need some help with this, its my first break up and it feels like shit even i feel my anxiety problems are getting back now:(. I appreciate any help from you guys. Thanks and again sorry for the long post and/or bad grammar.
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2017
  12. Bobro

    Bobro SS.org Regular

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    Can't let that stuff bother you, it's just theater! You wouldn't want her to get peeved if it were you up on stage kissing an actress, would you? That being said, my previous wife is an opera singer and in one production she had to kiss another (pretty hot!) woman, and that didn't bother me in the slightest!
     
  13. Space_Shift

    Space_Shift SS.org Regular

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    So, after a while I posted my ex-gf now its on a relationship. I dont know how to feel right now, i thought that on some point i could or maybe be in good terms with her like a friend or even that we could be back but nope, its with another person right now. I dont know what to do now, i feel like shit in some way or another :(
     
  14. Obsidian Soul

    Obsidian Soul SS.org Regular

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    She kicked you to the curb because she already had that guy lined up to take your place. On a positive note, at least she broke up with you first instead of having you catch her cheating on you, which would make the hurt you feel that much worse.
     
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  15. Spaced Out Ace

    Spaced Out Ace 0 0 1 0 0 6 5 0 3\

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    You don't know that for certain. She could've broke up with him in the early stages of being a scandalous thot.
     
  16. will_shred

    will_shred not that good.

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    Just here to shitpost, don't mind me.

    Start of the new semester, I have theory class and ear training class with a girl who I had audio with last semester. We start talking, just "how was your summer?" ect. Later I think I caught her checking me out, and than she asked for my number. She said she would help me with math and I can help her with guitar. So we've been texting every day and hanging out after class, and she has helped me with my math homework lol. Shes really cute, I like her a lot. Shes one of the only girls in the music program at our school, soooo naturally a lot of guys have hit on her. But I think that her and I actually have some chemistry. We have plans to go hiking this weekend, wish me luck!
     
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  17. marcwormjim

    marcwormjim SS.org Regular

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    Classy move suggestion: Wear a skirt; so she has something to hike.
     
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  18. Spaced Out Ace

    Spaced Out Ace 0 0 1 0 0 6 5 0 3\

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    I think she should be the one wearing a skirt, and not Will. Unless... you know, they are into that sorta gender role swap. In which case, have at it.
     
  19. Space_Shift

    Space_Shift SS.org Regular

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    Thanks for the reply, well i'm not sure and i don't want to make any assumptions. I haven't slept well in these last two days because i've been thinking about that situation. I feel sad and i feel my anxiety is returning :/

    It's very weird because as i said in my first post, she broke up with me because she say that I "lied" to her that i wouldn't add any other girl on fb again, it seems like a very poor excuse because i think that could be solved with both talking about it but i felt that with all the problems she had enough. Just so you know, i didnt have any intentions on cheating on her I wouldn't do that to her. The girl i added on fb was a high school classmate and is on one of my classes in university btw she has a boyfriend and never had any interest in said person, as i said it's a very weird situation.

    Also she told me that she maybe was considering returning with me and that she wouldnt stay with another person, well i think she said that to me so i didnt felt so bad about the break and i think it made me feel more bad when i knew a week later that she was with this other guy.

    Any suggestions on how to get over a break up? I really really need an advice because is my first time feeling this way and i dont know what to do :(
     
  20. High Plains Drifter

    High Plains Drifter SS.org Regular

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    Honestly, man... Hate to say it but you're just going to feel like shit for a while. That's unfortunately the long and short of it. There's nothing that you can really do that's going to make you feel all that much better... not at the moment anyway. Heartache is part of life/ life sucks sometimes/ relationships are seldom comforting on the way out. You hit the floor emotionally... That's it. Now how long you lie on the floor is up to you. But don't misunderstand me... Your heart will wallow just as long as you allow it to. Your heart is sensitive ( especially now) so how are you going to make that heart feel better? You're not.. not atm anyway. What you instead need to familiarize yourself with ( at whatever point that you feel that you've grieved over this long enough), is healthy management of the loss/ void. That's where your brain comes in. You must use your brain's survival instinct to force yourself to move forward. The heart may not want to but the heart is in no position to help you now. It is currently, instead... a liability... not an asset. Let your heart sulk all it wants right now. This is the time to rediscover your common sense and your survival instincts. You must keep moving forward and although your heart may not be willing or able, your mind is! So vent, hurt, lick your wounds, seek support, reevaluate your priorities, and welcome to a time in your life that's just gonna have to suck-ass for a while. It's just how it is. Time will heal this no matter how much you think that the pain of your particular situation/ failed relationship is so unique or so insurmountable... It is not. But if you're going to get beyond this, then you're going to HAVE to team up with your brain and come up with a game-plan to put this all behind you. Eventually this emotional trauma will subside and you will find yourself back on the path. You'll probably have some emotional scars from this certainly... but you should not and can not allow yourself to dwell on this indefinitely nor in an obsessive way. Keep using your head... That's what it's there for and it will in time guide you... Just gonna take some time and some effort.
     

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