I've been miserable most of my life, and feel I need to open up about it

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by EverDream, Jun 17, 2018.

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  1. NateFalcon

    NateFalcon #Ox45

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    Depression is becoming so common that it’s specialized...maybe it’s the hormones or preservatives, I’m not sure but my brother and all his friends are going through strange depressions (2 suicides) in their early and mid 20’s. My brother never had any clear signs as a kid of depression other than a little acting out so it manifested after adolescence...he just so happened to eat the worst diet imaginable and was pretty deficient in a lot a vitamins and minerals, not to mention a 12 pack of beer every night. He stopped drinking, started cooking meals at home from raw ingredients and he became a different person all the way around -it’s worth looking into your diet as mentioned earlier...
     
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  2. mpexus

    mpexus SS.org Regular

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    Its super hard to get off the freaking pit when you are there, maybe he hasn't found a proper person to help him. I used to "joke" that Depression were for the Rich people only... until I felt into one... it blocks you in every conceivable way and the worst thing anyone in that state can hear is: Hey man... you have to get out of that. Its like saying to a Homeless person that he needs to find an apartment and stop living on the street.

    Its a thing that will never go away... its for Life, we just need to learn how to deal with and anticipate it as soon as we start to feel the symptoms again, and its sometimes a struggle to try to not go down again.
     
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  3. A-Branger

    A-Branger SS.org Regular

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    I get what the OP is saying about "no one understands me so no one cares about to give me proper advice..." or something like that.

    and yeah fair enough, maybe we all are giving you cliche/generic advice. But also remember, no one here knows you, no one here knows whats happening inside your head, only you knows. So dont blame us about our lack of proper advice when you havent give us much insight of yourself. ITs like complaining that you got a chocolate cake for your Bday when you never mentioned you hated chocolate.

    We give you advice based on the info you gave us and on our personal experiences, and thats as far as we could do. And for a guitar/metal related forum heck, theres heaps of love for you in here bro. Like someone mentioned, we could have jsut ignore your post, but instead you got people fully worried and interested in giving you a hand. And I bet you if you said "Ok I would try X or Y" and then come back with "I tried and this or that happened and I failed" I bet you we all would jump to guide you forward and keep giving you advice on what to do next, or how to improve


    everyone is different, we only trying to advice what worked for us. In my case when I was full into depression with vage suicidal thoughs these were the things that helped me:
    -Move to a new place
    -Meds
    -Having my dog, as it pushed me to get out of the house to take her for walks/swim
    -I joined a bootcam plus gym
    -I chatted every night with a friend
    -surf
    -forget about my love life situation and the way I always used to think about it. Be at peace with it and accept that "it is what it is... if it happen cool, if it doesnt happen then cool too".... and apply that knowledge to everything else
     
  4. budda

    budda Guiterrorizer Contributor

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    I have had and currently have depression. I have friends and family with depression.

    The OP came in asking for advice, got it, and doesnt like it. He hasnt found the right professional because he hasnt made a change. Its the same patterns thus the same results.

    The only change I can find is that he went on medication and it helped stabilize him. If you can identify why you're not feeling well, then chances are you can make any type of small step towards positive change from that place. From what I can tell, he hasnt taken that step. He has the medication, the next move is his.
     
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  5. IGC

    IGC Guitar farter arounder

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    Can you tell us about one "real life " instance when you tried to meet someone and how it went wrong... like specifcs?

    Did you put yourselfe "out there" only to be douched upon?

    The old too cool / special for you?
     
  6. EverDream

    EverDream SS.org Regular

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    The "f*ck everything to hell" attitude I rarely ever exhibit, so that's not the reason people aren't interested in me. I'm only exhibiting it now because I'm pretty much at the point where I'm about to give up trying to live at all. I've tried to be helpful and friendly with people throughout life, but it was never good enough for anyone to be interested in me I guess.

    Most of you guys are acting like I want everyone to do everything for me, and that is not true, I only want people to believe me when I say I feel unable to do something. I am sick of people telling me it's my fault when I feel no control over the choices that I make in life. I do whatever I feel like doing, without knowing why I feel like doing it, and I feel no ability to do anything but that, that is the honest truth whether you believe me or not. As long as people don't believe me, I am never going to live. If you don't care, then fine, go your merry way and let me rot alone in my room. I have no will to live, I don't want anything but an end to myself. I am NOT going to attempt to take my life, but I do wish to not exist anymore, I do wish I could be euthanized right now.

    Call me whatever you want, I don't give a f*ck, I don't give a sh*t if nobody is interested in me, so come on hate me, hate me, hate me, I want it, hate me, f*cking hate me, I hope the whole universe dies and everything in it, I hate life and I view it as a curse. I will be spewing my hatred onto everything until somebody ends my life. I don't deserve to live, I hope my life ends ASAP. F*ck everything, my life is over and I don't give a sh*t. Everybody talk to your f*cking self because I don't give a sh*t what you or anybody thinks. My soul is gone, and only my body remains, with the devil controlling it.
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2018
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  7. mpexus

    mpexus SS.org Regular

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    No one hates you and people are listening to you, even though you might think no one is caring, its not true. We are talking to you, so feel free to reply if you want.
     
  8. budda

    budda Guiterrorizer Contributor

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    Being helpful and friendly generally isn't supposed to be done with the expectation of getting something back as a reward though.

    When is the last time you spoke to a professional? What was your last real-life social interaction?

    "Most of you guys are acting like I want everyone to do everything for me, and that is not true, I only want people to believe me when I say I feel unable to do something. I am sick of people telling me it's my fault when I feel no control over the choices that I make in life. I do whatever I feel like doing, without knowing why I feel like doing it, and I feel no ability to do anything but that"

    Let me ask you this - can you recall a time where you did know why you felt like doing something? You felt in control to make this thread, and you knew why you made it. What about before that? What steps have you taken recently to *try* and make conscious choices other than creating this thread? I bet that there's more than the 0 times you say you've had.
     
  9. budda

    budda Guiterrorizer Contributor

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    holy double post
     
  10. Obsidian Soul

    Obsidian Soul SS.org Regular

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    Maybe that's my problem,but I'm not going to the hospital.
     
  11. diagrammatiks

    diagrammatiks SS.org Regular

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    Man you have a debilitating medical condition

    Non of this pursuit of happiness stuff is going to take care of that.

    See your doctors. Ask for much stronger meds. One step at a time.
     
  12. TedEH

    TedEH Cromulent

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    Unless you're trolling or exaggerating, your problems are beyond asking guitar forum regulars for generic life advice. We've given you the best advice available with the limited information we have. Go see a professional. Doesn't matter if you've done that already - do it again - go to a different one. Get a second or third opinion. Being dramatic on a guitar forum will solve exactly zero of your problems.
     
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  13. possumkiller

    possumkiller Goose stepping in front of a mirror

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    Life isn't about doing what you want. Try to have a little self discipline and make yourself do something you know you don't want to do that will get you out and interacting with others. When you interact with others don't act like you despise every moment and can't wait to get back to your comfortable bedroom. If you don't have enough will power to help yourself, you probably need some strong medication. Try getting drunk.
     
  14. budda

    budda Guiterrorizer Contributor

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    Dont, actually. You're on medication, medication generally doesnt mix well with booze. You also dont want to become dependent on alcohol to feel normal or accepted - that opens up a lot of other problems.
     
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  15. possumkiller

    possumkiller Goose stepping in front of a mirror

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    Idk when I get buzzed i feel like a normal person and people get along with me a lot better. I find about half a litre of beer will keep me in a good state for about an hour and a half. So theoretically if I just drink half a litre of beer every hour and a half while I'm in social situations, I should be good. I guess I would be a social drinker.
     
  16. IGC

    IGC Guitar farter arounder

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    I don't claim to be a professional, but have had like 10 years of being counseled on the regular about my own mental problems with varying counselors. Took about 5 before I found one I really felt a connection with. These thoughts are Mental Hang Ups. What I find helpfull in these situations is this: when the thoughts "pop", "drop" them. Realize your thoughts "popping" and "drop" them as soon as they happen. Then take steps to move forward. I'm not saying I don't struggle any more, I do but small exercises like this are a big thing.

    Tried any dating web sites?
     
  17. myrtorp

    myrtorp Jiggywiggy

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    Mind and body is strongly connected, sitting still too much, eating badly and fapping!! too much are all things that affect the mind. Depression is a hole that takes time to get out of, adopting all positive things at once will not make it better fast, but it will be a long serving remedy to the right path.
    Being more physical really helps but must be done alot to take effect, a good start is 1 hour walk every single day, maybe sound stupid but your mind and body is 2 sides of the same coin, you should care for both.
    I have problems myself, feeling useless and unmotivated, many days I wake up way too late and dont want to get up because there is no reason to. I dont have any dreams or big wants. But I have my ups and downs, and it is during my ups that I get things done.

    The replies ive seen have been friendly and helpful, people do care. But it's hard to give advice without knowing the person and maybe you read snarky tones in replies where there are none. I want you all the best.
     
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  18. Rosal76

    Rosal76 SS.org Regular

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    IMHO, I think what the OP really needs is a close friend/individual to actually be with him, like in the same room to talk to. Communication through email/cell phones/internet forums/phones/etc, etc, etc is nice and all, I communicate through all those, but IMHO, nothing is gonna beat a friend(s)/family member(s)/individual who are in the same room talking face to face.

    I know it's lot to ask for but, "maybe" someone here on this forum from California (where the OP is also from) could go meet him somewhere in a public place and just talk. Talking to someone face to face for me is like, the best medicine in the world. Subjective within everyone of course.
     
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  19. budda

    budda Guiterrorizer Contributor

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    Humans need social interaction, as Rosal mentioned. That's why isolation works so well for prisoners. This is part of why so many replies are encouraging the OP to leave his room.
     
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  20. NateFalcon

    NateFalcon #Ox45

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    Depression or not, you get back what you put out...
     
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