A Reminder

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by steinmetzify, Sep 10, 2017.

  1. steinmetzify

    steinmetzify CHUG & SLUDGE

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    There are a whole lot of us here, and this isn't meant as a dig, but as a reminder. You guys are some of the best people I've met on the internet and in real life, but everyone has a moment where they might need a reminder. Here you go, and you're welcome.

    There are a few times in a man’s life where it is okay to show your vulnerability- to set the armor down and trust someone enough not to wound you.

    At my grandfather’s funeral, I saw my uncle overcome with his sadness, and cry.

    At my brother’s wake, I was overcome by my own, and I cried for him, and for my father and mother, and in remembrance of all the good times we’d had and all the good ones we would never get to have.

    After an incredibly painful separation from a woman I’d been with for a decade, I spent some time traveling and drinking, coping with it in a pretty unhealthy way, until I found my way through it with the help of some brothers.

    There are things that my wife and my blood know about me, or have heard me say, that I would never say or reveal to anyone else.This is because a man should not put his weakness or vulnerability on display for the world to see.

    What is it that you are hoping for when you broadcast another failed relationship, your personal woes, inadequacies, embarrassing shortcomings, and day to day banality?

    Attention? Sympathy? A few 'like es' or hallmark 'feel better, I’m here for you if you need to talk' comments on your social media account? You should be ashamed. Your father and your ancestors would be ashamed of you.

    This constant need to broadcast not only every tiny boring detail of our day into the churning maelstrom of disgusting slop that makes up your 'feed' (ever noticed the comparison to livestock here?), but to also show every weakness felt throughout your quivering existence.

    To draw attention to your revolting need like a child reaches upward and wails for an adult to take pity on him because walking is too hard.

    To shout, not in a strong voice “WITNESS ME” as you perform glorious deeds to awe and inspire,
    but feebly, and with much cracking “notice me...please!” as you crawl in the filth of your own insecurities and revel in your weakness, seeking that attention and sympathy like a junkie sucking dick for a hit.

    Before you post, speak, signal, display - ask yourself if what you are presenting is powerful, strong, useful, inspiring, or gives meaning, hope, value, or even laughter.

    If the answer is no, ask yourself - why am I displaying this for the world to see?

    Am I a junkie? Am I a child? Am I wasting my life?

    A man is not an automatic title achieved by whatever you’ve got between your legs. It is an idea, an accomplishment, an understanding of the concept of VIRTUE.

    Try to act like one.
     
  2. marcwormjim

    marcwormjim SS.org Regular

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    Is this considered bitter irony, or sweet irony?
     
  3. diagrammatiks

    diagrammatiks SS.org Regular

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    you can put a medication reminder on your phone now. come on.
     
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  4. Demiurge

    Demiurge Intrepid Jackass

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    Boy, I'd really like to know what kind of incident brought this about but anyway...

    I kind of get what you're trying to say because I can relate to an extent. Airing-out dirty laundry in a public venue is tacky and, if it's just for attention, all the more distasteful. I'd rather suffer my personal issues in silence than use them as a cudgel, shield, or beacon. I'm very uncomfortable with displays of emotion around me- especially when a dude cried at my Super Bowl party.

    BUT I have to ask if it's entirely healthy, the expectation that men be emotionally buttoned-up at all times. Not that the inverse is healthy, either, but perhaps being more fair about one's vulnerabilities and finding proper outlets for one's feelings is the more 'adult' solution. Because more often than not those bad feelings get mashed-down and ferment into rage which is harder to contain and not very pretty- or adult-looking- when it comes out.
     
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  5. steinmetzify

    steinmetzify CHUG & SLUDGE

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    Nothing huge...closed down FB about a year ago. Buddy of mine that I really respect (state judo champ, minister, nuclear engineer and master carpenter) asked me to load it back up so he could show me something this evening. Did so, checked his pics, then checked my feed, which was full of nothing but guys I know whining about everything under the sun...women, jobs, life etc...

    I wasn't raised that way. The public airing of dirty laundry, I mean.

    Nothing wrong with men expressing their problems to people they trust, getting opinions and different viewpoints or whatever.

    But just slapping it out there into the world saying 'look at me I have issues!' struck me as weak and lame.

    I do have issues, and people to talk to about them...I don't talk to the whole world and sit back and await a response. To me, this is not what men do. Just reminded me why I closed down FB in the first place.

    Figured it might strike a chord here...if it offends someone, feel free to report it and have it removed. Sort of expecting it, now that I think about it...
     
  6. diagrammatiks

    diagrammatiks SS.org Regular

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    it's Facebook. it's all memes and whines.
     
  7. Demiurge

    Demiurge Intrepid Jackass

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    My feed is nearly 100% sponsored content or shared posts right now. Do I know anybody who actually thinks or says things of their own?
     
  8. Ebony

    Ebony Mr Sunshine

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    I don't think sickly over-exposure is something that is exclusive to people who vent about their everyday misfortune.

    What about all the people who can't help themselves to not constantly gloat about all their achievements?
    You know, the kind of people who are so busy elevating themselves they don't even have the time to belittle each-other properly?

    Posting airbrushed pictures of their biceps, new girlfriends, new cars, new expensive holidays, new life-mottoes, new everything.
    Keeping up to date about what celebrity died recently with ready-made texts of recycled bullshit "homage", mindlessly posting contradictory "liberating" and "powerful" quotes from famous dead people in order to make themselves seem intelligent.
    All done under the false banner of "sharing my life with the people I love", when the reality is more akin to "I am better than you and the sole purpose of this account is to prove it".

    There is nothing wrong with being self-centered, we all are but I don't see the need for all this pretense.
     
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  9. Lemonbaby

    Lemonbaby SS.org Regular

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    I get the feeling that you might be somewhere around my age, as I'm wondering about the same thing. Often. Something's gone completely wrong when people faking a millionaire's life, girls telling you that purple shirts are “last summer“ and kids playing POV shooters get enough clicks to making a living with that crap.

    If that wasn't enought to call me an “angry/sad/whatever old man“: I don't have a Facebok, Twitter, Instagram and [you name it] account. Even to my own surprise, I have a happy and fulfilled life and don't miss anything. Go figure... :fever:
     
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